Beasts: Creating Chaos in the DeFi Sea

5 min read

Grim Wyvern arranges a meet to gather beasts with plans to attack DeFi against Neptune.

The cacophony of voices in the great hall was deafening.

"SILENCE!" bellowed Grim Wyvern, flaring his wings for effect. "One at a time. Fuzzball, what were you saying?" He sneered, gesturing to the horned, werewolf-like sabersquatch at the far end of the table.

The sabersquatch hissed, baring his teeth and tilting his horns forward as he rose from his seat. "My name is Lord Conri, and you will address me with the respect I deserve."

Grim Wyvern inhaled deeply and puffed out his chest. He could destroy the table with one flick of his wings and blast this insolent sabersquatch and the sniveling mermen serpents to the other side of the city in the process. But he knew that would achieve nothing. As annoying and incompetent as these fools were, they were his best hope of restoring glory to the depths.

"Respect must be earned," he snarled. "What have you achieved recently? The humans cause more damage to each other with their $5 wrench attacks than I've ever seen you manage with your opportunistic 'hacks'."

Conri met Grim Wyvern's gaze and held it. There was a spark of defiance in his eyes, but just a spark. He knew Grim Wyvern was right. How can he be feared when simple fuzzing and testing are defeating so many of his plans? "We are working on new exploits. The humans are becoming complacent again too; even you must admit that."

One of the mermen serpents spoke up, "He speaks the truth! Our phishing campaigns of today are almost as successful as the campaigns my great-great grandfather speaks so fondly of when we tempted fishermen out into the dangerous waters."

"History has a way of repeating itself," muttered Grim Wyvern.

"I prefer living in 'the future'," laughed another of the mermen serpents, flicking out its long reptilian tongue as it made a satisfied smile. "A little malware here, a drive-by download there. I can do it all from the comfort of my cave. The old ways were too dangerous. And too dry for my tastes."

A rumbling sound from outside the hall brought the conversation to a halt. The rumbling shifted to form a deep, powerful voice. "You've become soft." It was the voice of Gargantuworm. A giant, fearsome creature with a sting in its tail and the power to choke out the life of anyone or anything that got in its way.

"And lazy—Spreading your malware by looking for fools to install it!" Gargantuworm slithered as he shook his head, causing the bottles on the grand table to shake as if there was an earthquake. "My army of worms is so powerful that it infects validator nodes and exchanges by itself. That's where the glory is, not taking Gwei from... users..." The contempt in his voice was obvious.

"And yet..." sneered Conri, "Neptune rescued the last exchange you attacked. It seems your worms are not all-powerful."

"Say that to my face, you cowardly DOG," snarled Gargantuworm.

Conri and several of his attendants rose at once, claws out, teeth bared, and hair bristling. They started barking and roaring. A merman serpent, clearly high-ranking from the adornments he was wearing, rose from his seat and stood in front of the sabersquatch army, motioning for them to sit.

"Out of my way!" barked Conri. The merman serpent shouted something back, but it was unintelligible over Gargantuworm's laughter and the howls of the sabersquatch army.

"ENOUGH!" screamed Grim Wyvern. This time he let out a flash of flame for effect. "We should not be fighting each other. Neptune and his squad of nannies and freaks have hurt all of us."

"Mermen," he said, his tone conciliatory, "the mischief you're causing with ordinals and precision loss is an act of genius."

"A little off our mission," he added, slightly sternly, "but entertaining. And anything that sows discontent is to be applauded."

The mermen serpents smiled. It was a disconcerting sight. When they smiled, the spikes on their spines stood on end. "I miss the days when the mermaids were around instead of these monstrosities", Grim Wyvern mused to himself before turning back to look out of the Great Hall's window to where Gargantuworm lay. He called out to him, "I'm working on some exploits of my own. But they'll take some time to develop. Gargantuworm, once I have my payload, I may call on you for aid to spread it."

"It would be an honor." rumbled Gargantuworm. "I am eager to learn what havoc a payload created by a mind as great as yours could cause."

"Thank you." Grim Wyvern bowed his head slightly. "All in due time. For now, though, we cannot rest. I hear Salacia and Delphinus have new tools to protect those foolish humans. We must test them and learn what their defenses are now capable of."

Conri rose from his chair. There was an intake of breath from those at the front of the hall, but his demeanor was calmer than the last time he'd taken to his feet. "My bots and scanners are always ready. I have new magic up my sleeve—a trick I want to try on Discord. I've been saving it for when the time is right. Perhaps now is a good time to deploy it."

Murmurs of agreement came from all sides of the hall.

"Yes." Grim Wyvern nodded firmly, and the hall fell silent. "We must keep them busy. Discord is as good a place as any to spread fear, uncertainty, and doubt."

"We are in agreement then," boomed Gargantuworm. "Those foolish humans will learn to fear us once more. Break down Neptune's defenses and drive them out of DeFi forever!"

The beasts cheered in unison: the mermen serpents, the deformed, lyanthopic sabersquatch, and even the ancient gargantuworm mustered something that sounded like an energetic "yeah".

Grim Wyvern smiled. Getting this army of misfits and vengeful beasts to work together was never easy. But there is a code of honor among the hackers and thieves. For now, they have a shared enemy in Neptune. So for now, they would direct their attention at him. Grim Wyvern was determined to enjoy this unity while it lasted.